Imagine you’re walking into the gym just like any regular, Tuesday morning. You’re ready to train your regular 9:30 AM client. Except this Tuesday is a special one.
This Tuesday, as you walk into the gym and bark out “gimmee some squat jumps, Claude,” your eyes immediately fixate on the perfectly-sculpted, wild stallion pictured above.
Yes, my fitness-focused vegan brethren, on Tuesday November 7th, 2017, this big slice of symmetrical heaven was smack dab in front of me, slowly walking on the treadmill. And less than five minutes later, he was GONE.
Oh yes! We’re diving into my dating life again!
I know you guys love it though. And obviously I love to entertain you with my random romantic adventures from “The Cowboy” to the “Cow Killer.” Or the “Shallow Sugar Daddy” to the recent “Vegan Hater!”
I’ve gone on A LOT of dates over the last seven years. Some good, some awful. But most, just kinda “meh.”
“Yeah sure, I’ll go see a movie with you, DATE #147 if I finish my work for the day and make it to the gym first.”
I always just kind of forced myself to make time for dating. And despite wanting to marry the man of my dreams and live out the “picket white fence” fantasy together, dating just wasn’t much of a priority. And how could it be when I had clients to answer, tofu to scramble and glutes to grow?!
Ironically enough, being ambitious and prioritizing my career and passions has never been a problem. But for some unknown reason, I’ve always really sucked at choosing guys.
Everyone would say I’m TOO picky. My standards were TOO high. My own mother would even make jokes every time I thought someone **might** have potential that “oh they probably have a wart on their ass so that will be the end of it.”
And Mom was right! I could always find something I didn’t like about every potential “suitor.” And yet, I’d drag it out, lead them on, and convince myself that maybe I am being “too picky.” Then I’d try soooooo hard to convince myself that their so-called “faults” were “fixable.”
“Yeah, sure we can go on another date even though I’m already having a panic attack at the thought of kissing you when it’s over.”
My Biggest Dating Problem?
Being a vegan trainer and devout bodybuilder myself, I can’t help that I’m most attracted to jacked, muscular dudes! But I kept finding that so many of the hardcore bodybuilders I’d date weren’t exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. And when I looked for love outside of the gym, sure, I would experience some mental stimulation. But in all honesty, very little stimulation was ever goin’ down below the belt.
And this shit went on for years! And I would get sooooo down on myself for NOT being married or living out the “white picket fence” fantasy. It didn’t help that everyone I’d meet would always be so surprised that a woman as “pretty” or “smart” as I was single. Then I would let all of these perceptions that people had of me couple with this “image” I thought I had to portray. And it always resulted in a whole lot of self-judgement and self-criticism.
“Yeah, why AM I single?!” “There MUST be something wrong with me” was a classic line in my inner critic repertoire.
And despite my friends and family having the best of intentions, their advice to “lower my standards” and “not be so picky” would only make me feel more hopeless because I just couldn’t force myself to “settle.”
So on my 35th birthday, I decided to implement a whole new approach to dating. And unlike many other women my age, I actually made no effort to “date” whatsoever. In fact, for the fist time EVER in my life, I started planning my future, and actually being OKAY with the fact that it might only be ME buying a house with a white, picket fence in a few years.
I also got rid of every friendship that wasn’t adding any value to my life. In fact, I detoxed my entire life. More on that HERE for anyone interested.
And on the rare occasion that I would agree to go on a date, instead of trying to “justify” a second hangout when I’d rather be at home, prepping tempeh and listening to podcasts, I became very blunt and honest with the guy and myself. I stopped wasting their time and mine. And most importantly, I learned to appreciate being alone and even ENJOY my alone time. I learned to be grateful for what I had rather than panic about what I didn’t have.
And for the first time EVER, on November 7th, when I saw this dream boat walking on the treadmill, I thought to myself “THAT one. I pick HIM.”
Then I stalked him… And thankfully, he wasn’t creeped out and was equally feelin’ it. 🙂
We met for coffee two days later and I had butterflies in my stomach the entire two hours we chatted. Then later that night, I had just arrived at the gym to train legs when he texted me, asking if I wanted to grab dinner. Now, I don’t leave the gym for ANYONE. But you can bet your ass that I did THE most intense, 10-minute workout of my life. Then I ran home just so that I could sit at a crappy late-night diner with him, order a questionable, greasy “veggie burger” and chat for another three hours.
This babe’s name is Michael Hutter and he’s an American professional wrestler who goes by “Ethan Carter the Third” or “EC3” for short. He is a savage beast in the gym, a pretentious douchebag in the wrestling ring and a big teddy bear behind closed doors. To me, he is “the full package:” brains, brawn and beauty. <3
Obviously I have no idea what the future holds for EC3 and me. But I do know this…
Dating sucks. Loneliness also sucks. But neither is worse than being surrounded by the wrong kind of people.
So instead of being “lonely,” be SELFISH.
Stop listening to the advice of others and invest your time on YOU and improving your SELF. I’m not talking about losing weight or working harder at the gym. I want you to become a stronger person MENTALLY.
Be strong enough to stand alone and brave enough to go after what you want. Stop chasing the wrong people and situations and let the right ones catch up to you.
I now see that I had many lessons to learn about love (and life) before the universe would reward me with my very own, life-sized Ken doll to play with. 😉
And for anyone interested, EC3 is also the guest on this week’s podcast!
AND I clogged his toilet…
Yes, it’s been a whirlwind of random, good times since spotting this stud on the treadmill. But I think you’ll dig him as much as I do (even if he’s not vegan… YET.) 😉
So be sure to hit him up on social media (@therealec3) and tune into the podcast as he shares the many struggles he’s faced in order to reach success as a pro wrestler. Plus he’s dishing out the deets on his strict keto diet and intense training program.
Click the “play button” below or click HERE to listen in iTunes or HERE to listen in Google Play or HERE for Stitcher.
-Samantha Shorkey, Jacked on the Beanstalk